damn they caught a pic of me in church
put a fucking bag on your head and sleep you god damn piece of shit
take a nap on a fucking ski lift
How to get over a break up
Or into a new relationship
Pic i took of a Datsun 510 from seven stock
It looks like a llama. It’s a mini bunny llama.
im like 25% funny and 85% bad at math
thats the best gif I’ve ever seen for this kind of thing
Last minute holiday shopping? FUCK ALL THAT NOISE. Why don’t you stay home and celebrate in style with some of these spicy sweet bastards? The sugar will keep you awake in case some son of a bitch tries sliding down your chimney in the middle of the night to pilfer your baked goods. NOT THIS YEAR, MOTHERFUCKER.
FROSTED GINGERBREAD BITES
1 ½ cups flour (unbleached white, whole wheat, or a blend will work)
2 teaspoons ground ginger
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
¼ teaspoon ground allspice
1 teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ cup brown sugar
½ teaspoon salt
1 cup canned coconut milk
½ cup blackstrap molasses
FROSTING DRIZZLE (optional)
1 tablespoon coconut milk
¾ teaspoon lemon juice
1/3 cup powder sugar, sifted
Warm the oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour an 8 x 8 baking pan and put a square of parchment paper at the bottom so this motherfucker won’t stick. Grab a medium bowl and dump in the flour, spices, baking powder, baking soda, sugar, and salt. Whisk all that shit around to get out any brown sugar clumps.
In a small saucepan mix together the coconut milk and the molasses. Put it over a medium low heat until the mixture just starts to bubble on the edges. Slowly whisk the coconut milk mixture into the dry ingredients until there aren’t any more dry spots. The batter is going to be thick like a brownie batter but a little spongy. Calm the fuck down before you email me and just trust that shit is correct. Pour the batter into the baking pan and gently move it around so that it is mostly even. Bake for 25-30 minutes. An easy way to check if it’s done is to poke the middle of that motherfucker with a toothpick and if it comes out clean, it’s done.
Once you see that shit is done, pull it out of the oven and let it cool for 10 minutes. Be sure to turn the oven off. Go check that shit right now, since we’re talking about it. Now you should be able to gently slide the cake out of the pan and let it finish cooling on a wire rack or plate or whateverthefuck you got. When it’s cool enough, cut it up into two-inch squares. If you want to frost that shit, I recommend doing it the day you serve the bites.
Grab a small saucepan and gently warm the coconut milk at a low-medium heat for just about 15-30 seconds. You don’t want that shit boiling, just hot. Turn off the heat and whisk in the powdered sugar and lemon juice. If the frosting looks too thin, add a little more powdered sugar. Before it starts to harden, take a spoon and drizzle it over the cake. Crisscross the drizzle and make it look all fancy or just pour that shit on if you don’t give a fuck.
Makes 16 cake bites